Just can't get into writing

So I'm logging into my account again and realizing that the last post was in September of 2005. I know I should be post more fequently, at minimum to keep the ole brain active, at maximum to capture random thoughts and ideas I have throughout the day.

So my latest pursuit is a PhD in management. However, I'm just not intelligent enough to get into a program so I'm going to have to figure out a way to get in without the stella scores on the standarized test. This is a very negative way to end a post but right now I have nothing more to write that would even be remotely entertaining or hold value.

Wow, I can't believe that it has been over a year since my last post. So much and so little has happened between that time. I better get on the ball and start doing some more writing.

So I’m really not in any mood to write tonight but I will put a few words in for the sake of doing something constructive today.

I didn’t have to babysit so no baby J update. I did get out to hit a few golf balls even though the weather was crappy and cold. I needed to do something. I also worked at the bar for 4 hours and made some cash for gas and other stuff. Much to my chagrin when I got home from work there was no food in the house. So dinner tonight consisted of malted milk balls and baked Tostitos. Yeah, I’m beyond pissed right now.

I would rather continue my story when I’m in a good mood so this entry is going to be brief. That’s it. Can someone bring me some real food??

A quick Baby J update before I continue with my story. Baby J was ok today, not as good as yesterday but he still took his 6oz and 5oz of milk but his naps were a bit on the light side today only managing a 15 minute nap in the morning before waking up, and a 40 minute and 60 minute nap later in the day. I did get him out for a walk despite the cold weather.

Drunken Hysteria
I left of last, JL and I were just laid off and we were making our way to a local bar. We walked to the bar, which turned out to be the best decision we made that day. We got to the place at 11:00am in the morning, which is on the early side to start drinking but this was not your typical day so time was irrelevant. We hopped up on a couple of bar stools and started drinking, JL with a gimlet and myself with a cosmo. At this point we proceeded to call everyone that we knew in the company to inform them of our untimely demise. This took some time as a matter of fact my battery ran out from conversations because these weren’t your typical conversations, people wanted to know details… specifically if they were next. Like we would know! Anyway after we finished calling those people we wanted to call we sat back and chatted. On our third or so round a group of people from our company came to this restaurant to get lunch, these were the fortunate few who still had jobs. The group consisted of my cousin (who worked at this company), a peer, and about six lower employees. I’m not sure why they took a seat right next to us but they did which was annoying. My cousin was the first to come by and give us a big hug and tell us how the company sucks and that we should have never gotten laid off. She is such a sweetheart. It was nice of her to come by and I think she would have rather stayed with JL and I than go back with her team to have lunch. But we urged her to do the right thing while she still has a job. The next person to talk to us was our peer DD, he gave us a monster hug, one of those hugs that breaks a few ribs or bursts implants if you had them. DD proceed to tell us how sorry he was about us getting laid off and that he was disgusted with this whole situation. The funny thing about talking to DD was that two days ago when JL and I knew we were getting laid off we asked DD if he knew anything. He emphatically denied knowing anything, as it turned out he was informed about the layoffs but did not say anything to us. There is a part of me that is unbelievably pissed about this because JL, DD, and myself were peers and DD should have had some respect for us and said something. It’s also a shame that he didn’t trust us enough to tell us this information. At this point I had put it all behind me and asked if he would kindly pick up the next round for JL and myself. He said he couldn’t, so with my biggest fuck you smile I said thanks DD. I was a bit stunned that he didn’t pickup 11 bucks worth of drinks, ah well when things are bad they are real bad. JL and I put away another couple of rounds a bit incredulous that DD didn’t have the balls to pick up a round. We were about half in the bag at this point and needed to leave this place. But the bartenders knew our story, which resulted in lively conversation with the staff, the bartenders and anyone in the general vicinity. We couldn’t leave. At some point during the afternoon we left the bar and headed to the back area to drink, thinking a change in environment will slow down our alcohol consumption. Then another group from the company comes in but they sat out front. One of the guys, MB, saw us in the back and offered his condolences; he sat for a little while and we all chatted it up. I then asked if he would be buying the next round, which he responded, of course. So he said come up front and drink with us. JL and I managed to stumble back to the front of the bar and were confronted with the most memorable site of the day. The entire layoff team was sitting at a table have drinks after a long grueling day of laying off 40 people. At this point we were too wasted to even give two shits, as long as they were buying the drinks, we were gleefully joining the table. I’m sure they were not at all pleased with us joining them, as they probably wanted to recap the days’ events in privacy. Besides the fact that JL and I were loud and acting so affable with everyone had to irritate them a bit. I had switch to water at this point because I wanted to sober up in order to drive home, but JL never passed up a single round, especially the free ones. We talked for the next two hours like we were old pals. I’m not sure what prompted our departure but around 5ish we headed out of the bar. JL was full in the bag and I was only 1/4 in the bag. We got back to our cars and I headed home, JL got in his car and stayed in the parking lot for the better part of the night and at some point managed to stick his head out the door to throw up, I believe a few times. So this is it, life begins or maybe it ends, after 8 years I’m out of work, what next???

Well it’s babysitting day today which I do three times a week. Baby J was actually pretty good for a Tuesday. He typically is a bit wound up from the weekend but he took his three 40 minute naps and had his two feedings at 5oz’ and 6oz’s. That’s it for the Baby J update now I’ll continue on with my story.

Yeah Yeah, I Know, I’m Gone
Yesterday I left off where I was taking a seat at the table awaiting my fate. Well actually I knew my fate; I was in that office as a formality… I was the next one to receive the blue folder of death. So as I take my seat in the office and look at my manager who sheepishly smiles at me and asks if I know why I’m here. This man was my manager for all of about two weeks and never made the effort to come and talk to me about my projects. I say yes but didn’t elaborate. He then pushes the blue folder in my direction and asks that I open it and go over the materials with him. Pretty much the standard package for being laid off which included health insurance information, severance information, recruitment firm contact numbers, unemployment information and contact numbers at the company. As he went through each and every form I could remember thinking to myself this really sucks. I have been with the company eight years and some guy I don’t know is acting like he cares about me. I could give a shit about you (the manager), this blue folder, or this company. It took about five minutes to go through all the material and at the end he asks me if I have any questions and if I’ll be alright. Something deep inside came up and my eyes were on the verge of tears. Damn, I need to blast out of here quick because I don’t want this asshole to see me crying. So I quickly get up, shake hands, and hightail it out of the office. By the time I got back to my office the tears had subsided and I saw JL sitting there with his blue folder and a big smile on his face. I guess there was nothing else he could do but smile, so I gave him a big smile back. We exchange stories about what happened in the office, during which time I began to get emotional again… I need to get out of this building. Instead of cleaning out our office we decided to have a layoff celebration at the local bar. This particular decision resulted in some of the funniest and most memorable moments that I had had in a long time.

So I figured that I would take the time today to explain the title of this blog “It’s Just Another Day”. As I began the creation process of selecting my templates and preferences for this blog website I got to the question of giving your site a title. Damn, it was going well up to this point. I know I shouldn’t be stressing over a title but I want it right the first time. So here I am thinking about titles, what reflects my blog, what reflects me, what tells a little about these writing, what would attract people to want to read, etc… I finally settled on “It’s Just Another Day” because it tells the reader that I’ll be writing about my daily activities and how I feel about these days that I’ve been living through.

If the title gives you the feeling that I’m a bit disenchanted with my life at this time you would be 100% correct. It’s been a long two years of unemployment and the economic prospective is not upbeat. So as I go through each day I realize as it ends that I have accomplished very little. This attitude is compounded each day and I’ve developed into a very lackadaisical person. I have started writing this blog to give myself a little positive movement; in a way I feel that with each entry I have accomplished something for the day. As insignificant as that sounds it really means a lot to me to have that sense of accomplishment each day.

The Blue Folders
I last left off my two year flash back with word that I was getting laid off. The fateful day was Thurday, my officemate JL and I spent the better part of Tuesday and Wednesday burning our files and intellectual property to CD. Now I’m sure you’re thinking 2 days, why so long. Well for two reasons, first, we only had one CD burner that we had to share and second, both of us were with the company eight years. During this eight year stint I managed to accumulate close to 8 gig of materials on projects that I worked on. I’m a bit of an electronic pack rat and being in the Information Technology department I pretty much had unlimited access to disk space. JL was in the same boat as myself but probably carried a bit more than 8 gig of materials. As we spent these two days burning files to CD’s we keep a very low profile because we didn’t want to arouse any suspicion that the ax was about to drop. Wednesday night before we left JL and I decide to come into work on the late side Thursday morning.

It’s 10am on Thursday morning and I pull into the parking lot but don’t see JL’s car so I decide to enter the building. Blue folders, blue folders everywhere, each person that I pass in the hallway has this dreary look on their face and is carrying a blue folder. So this is my fate today the infamous blue folder. I get to my office and within 5 minutes JL arrives we whisper to each other our observations. I stepped out of the office to get some tea for myself and as I return the HR representative is getting JL and escorting him away. I sit in my office staring out the window and thinking that this really sucks. My dear friend and colleague is getting the axed and any minute it will be my turn to get that escort to the guillotine. Ten minutes later JL returns with the HR representative who asks me to follow him. As I walk behind him through the halls I notice more blue folder carriers and no one, absolute no one is making eye contact as they pass me in the hallway. As I enter the office I notice my boss is sitting at a round table and I take a seat opposite him and the HR representative is seated on my right. And there in the middle of the table is a blue folder with my name neatly type along the label.